What is infidelity?
- Lust?
- Flirting?
- Affair?
- One night stand?
- Being ‘forward’ in internet chat rooms?
- Porn?
What kinds of being bad are involved with infidelity?
- Scheming.
- Secretive behaviour.
- Lying.
- Dishonesty.
- Hypocrisy.
- Selfishness.
- Risk taking.
The effects of infidelity:
- Disinterest in their actual relationship.
- Heartbreak.
- Family break up.
- Depression.
- Further risks taken and risk of getting caught increases.
- 'Leading on' of unsuspecting partner.
The internet has affected an enormous amount of relationships due to secretive flirting and forwardness to people in internet chat rooms. But at what point does flirting become cheating? In my belief in response to a male accessing an internet chat room and flirting to a female, I for one would not accept it, if it was within my relationship. However I do believe that the sincerity of flirting in a chat room exceeds when the partner chooses to flirt to one person in particular. Here is a link of identified signs of a cheating partner: http://everestgroupsecurity.com/cheating.html.
Is pornography bad behaviour or is it an addiction? The following link from Dr Phil suggests that the usage of porn is incorrect within a relationship: http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/54/ . I however believe against Dr Phil on pornography being incorrect. In my opinion porn is acceptable within a relationship, although perhaps if the person watching the porn is uncertain as to whether it is an incorrect act, they should confront their partner about it.
Furthermore I would suggest that porn is a mere fantasy fulfilment. Although I would like to add that if ever caught out surely if the person was in a relationship, they may feel inferior to whatever you’re watching? One must add that priorities are a large basis within a 'healthy' relationship, remember to make sure your partner is okay with pornography, and the usage of chat rooms. If you only like to forfil these things in private, perhaps there's a reason for it?
I don’t feel that porn should be something categorized as bad behaviour. But in cases where watching porn becomes addictive it becomes more complex. Here is a link to an actual story of how porn can affect a person’s life:
http://www.treating-pornography-addiction.com/pornography-cheating-spouse-a-37.html.
I feel strongly about a very fine line between idolization and fantasy. I would define porn as a fantasy, however I would also add that idolization of the person you’re watching is in fact bad behaviour due to the possible negative aspects that can derive from that. I would define idolization as a constant interest in someone, whether in porn, a chat room or in day to day life.
If you will not perform an action in public, does that suggest it is a wrong action?
4 comments:
Surely cheating would involve a physical act? I would not say that flirting in a chat room is cheating, it would only be cheating if something physical came about because of the flirting. This is only my opinion but I would not say typing messages to someone is not cheating, calling them afterwards and arranging to meet I would say was cheating. Afterall you cannot have a relationship with a computer.
I disagree. what constitutes a physical relationship?
In the example that you are in a relationship, and you love the person. Love can be conveyed in a physical sense, yet love/ deep interest is something within a person, and is not physical. Meaning that perhaps love can be felt just from talking to someone on the internet, you merely find much more barriers to show the love.
When flirting to someone on the internet surely theres a certain amount of fantasy, possibly an exhange in photo's? an admiration of their personality can constitute a deep interest/love of the person.
You raise a good point. I still would not say that it way cheating though. Maybe it is just my definition of the word cheating, and what I constitute as cheating. I do agree that a person in a chat room could develop feelings of love, but can you truly say that you love someone if you have never met them? You could love aspects of the person, their personality or the way they look, but for me at least, love is how the smell of their hair gives you butterflies. Waking up next to that person in the morning and seeing them still asleep and looking so peaceful. How can those feelings be achieved through a computer. You could love them, but not be in love with them.
I don't particularly agree with the link on the signs of a cheating spouse, surly these are signs of insecurity more than cheating. My partner and I do the majority of these and as far as I know he is not cheating. Infidelity is not talking in online chat rooms or looking at porn. It is a more intimate and private matter where one or both spouses are cheating within physical proximity of eachother secretly. Flirting is fun and personally I think it is not a problem within online chat rooms its when people meet in real personal romes when it becomes a concern.
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